Quaker Instant Me
(Just Add Water)


Well, I realize that some of you out there may be looking for general information about me. You may have met me on the Net and want to find out if I really exist. You may have met me in person and want to know if I really am on the Web. You may be a friend checking this out to see if I said anything about you. You may be a homicidal maniac trying to more fully understand who I am before you kill me. You may be a cop trying to bust me for a crime I didn't commit. You may be a fan trying to gain knowledge of me to impress other people. Or you might just be bored. In any case, I don't care. If you're willing to read this drivel then I'm willing to write it, it's your nickel.

For those of you who want the shortest possible version of who I am, here is my Geek Code:

Version: 3.1

GIT/O d- s+: a- C+++ U* P L E--- W+++ N- o-- K? w+(++)$ !O M- !V PS+ PE Y++ PGP t+@ 5- X R-- tv+ b+>++ DI++++ !D-- G+ e(+)@* h+ r--->+++ y?

What Do I Look Like?

You would actually miss a picture of me in a toilet stall with a pig nose? Sheesh
If THIS doesn't tell you something, nothing will!

Well, I'm about 6 feet and 1 inch in altitude. Except when I am lying down, when I am only about 8 inches high but over 6 feet long, or sitting, when I am usually around 4 feet high. (That's about 1.3 meters for the rest of the world out there on a GOOD measurement system.) After that dizzying little explanation, I am very happy to report the simpler fact that I weigh somewhere between 5 and 6450 pounds. I used to weigh 165 but lately I've been around 200 and I'm going back down since I took up Rollerblading. I think I'm a lardass but nobody else does, which I guess is a good thing. That's not to say I'm worth 165 to 200 pounds though, that only occurs on payday and when I get the urge to cash in my dollars for British notes. Other than that, I have slightly-reddish brown hair, green-brown-technicolor eyes, all my original teeth (unlike much of the rest of the South), and wear size 13 shoes. I never seem to be able to find good shoes in size 13, but that's life. I did however pick up size 15 Rollerblades, which work well for me. I was born on May 5, 1973, in fact I was being born just as Secretariat was winning the Kentucky Derby in under two minutes, still the fastest time ever. I think that is why I can be a horse's ass when I need to.

What Do I Do For A Living?

The secret to my success!

I have done many things in my life to make a living, including building homebuilt airplane parts, working as a cleanroom technician, doing computer training, and even retail sales (ugh.) I think I have finally found my niche as a computer tech, including Internet tech support and administration, PC technical support and writing documentation. I'll spare you my resume, but basically I'm a computer geek.

What Do I Do For Fun??

Moi Will fly for root beer...
Yep, that's right!
TMBG Ticket Whaley's Comet

Oh, lots of things. Big Interest Number One is progressive rock music, mostly Genesis, Yes, ELP, Rush, Kate Bush, and King Crimson, although I'm into many other bands. I like to write, and when the mood strikes I like to write song parodies... I'd like to think that they are more like Mystery Science Theater 3000 than Weird Al Yankovic in style. Big Interest Number Two, though, is aviation. I am the founder/webmaster of OV-10Bronco.Net and that lead to me becoming a founding member of the OV-10 Bronco Association. I also am an airshow aficionado of sorts, and have a collection of about 2000 aircraft and space photos I've taken over the years. The biggest participatory activity I do in the aviation area is to build and fly radio control planes also, I particularly enjoy soaring and silent flight. I am an inactive but licensed Amateur Radio Operator, callsign KD4UGI. (No, that is NOT the same as CB radio. Hams actually know how their radios work, among other things. Well, most of them do anyway.) I was very active in college, but I've found my need for talking to others fulfilled by the Net, with IRC and e-mail and the like. I'll probably get back into ham radio sooner or later when I think of something new I want to try.

What Kind Of Things Do I Love? Hate?

Well, I like a lot of things. First and foremost, I love Christ. Caffeine is the next thing that comes to mind. I like Monty Python. I like Mystery Science Theater 3000. I like tinkering with things and doing cool stuff with the pieces. I like anything having to do with Marvin Martian, and have a growing collection of Marvin stuff. I like cool t-shirts. I have a deep, burning, intense, flesh-eating hatred for Georgia Tech, my ex-alma mater (I disowned them.) I dislike the narrow-minded, ivory tower academic mentality. I liked Calculus 4 so much I took it several times. I like to chase tornadoes. I like to watch meteors. I dislike getting hit by meteorites. I like to have meaningful discussions with interesting people. I love Jesus Christ and owe all the good things in my life to Him and His blessings. I intensely dislike seeing people use self-serving religion to justify selfish and violent hatred, such as Operation Rescue, the Ku Klux Klan, the Nation of Islam and the IRA do. I intensely hate bureaucracy and politicians. I dislike people who think they can change the system with violence. I like libertarianism but dislike the fact the general public are too stupid and short-sighted to even care what it is. I like when people respect other's beliefs, but dislike when people just assume that because I am a Christian I am supposed to be a conservative bigoted anti-choice condemning crusading redneck zealot who thinks everything around me is evil... which is most definitely NOT like me. (But I do hope they see that Christianity has nothing to do with the TV version.) I dislike stupid talk shows and soap operas. I like M*A*S*H. I like warplanes, but I hate what they are designed to do. I like to look up at the marvels of the universe and the sky in general. I dislike the Big Bang Theory and the notion that we are capable of knowing for sure just how it all began. I believe in both creation and Evolution and dislike that many people just can't comprehend that science and God's Word complement each other. I really like the number 42. I like Star Wars and Star Trek. I like Robin Williams and Harrison Ford movies. I like to chase bad weather just out of fascination and for fun. I hate getting caught in a thunderstorm when I want to go fly the plane. I like watching the idiots on the golf course across the street play in a lightning storm. I like new technology. I don't know whether I love or hate Unix. I like Macintoshes most of the time. I dislike Microsoft much of the time. I downright hate trial lawyers and what they've done to society. I love Orwell's 1984. I like to read, even though I rarely have enough time anymore. I like Oriental food, malted milk balls, sushi, Brussels sprouts and beef stroganoff. I dislike hot dogs, coffee, diet sodas, peas, and spinach. I like being able to stay up late and sleep in the next day. I enjoy babbling on about this, that, and the other. Any questions?

Who Are My Role Models??

First and Foremost, Jesus Christ, for giving us all hope and help when nothing else can.

I want cheese!Ruchelle Owens, for strengthening my faith and being an extremely devoted and loving friend, as well as constantly reassuring me that I really am every bit as psycho as I think I am.

Chris Giddens, make that the Reverend Goob, for showing me how fun Christianity is supposed to be, and being a friend through some mighty strange and rough times.I'm actually a lot sillier than I look!

Rev. Billy Graham, for sharing the true joy of Christ to the world with the utmost integrity, love, and honesty.

Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., not for showing people "by any means necessary", but by living the ONLY means necessary.
My mom, Linda Whaley, for never pushing me too hard and being supportive when I didn't meet my own expectations.
George Orwell, for 1984 and Animal Farm.
My Grandma and Granddad Brokaw, just for being who they are.
Rick Wakeman - Just a really cool Christian guy!!!
Peter Gabriel and Steve Hackett, for having the courage to follow the vision.
Burt Rutan, Dr. Paul MacCready, and Steve Roberts, for pushing the envelope.

Adapted from the Solsbury Hill website.

Well, that's a representative sample of me in a nutshell. If you have become totally enthralled by now, cruise the rest of the site for more!!

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Hits since Sept. 16, 1998