Public Page - Fortunes  |  Public Page - Scary Phrases

To Fortunes

SCARY PHRASES
ID		CATEGORY	FROM	PHRASE
411	EDIT		Ron	A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed. (from a CNN article)
395	EDIT		Mike	Surely, death will visit your ancestors.
317	EDIT		Mike	But as for me and my household, we will be served by PCs. (So true, Tanker Bob!)
315	EDIT		Kristin	It is only harrassment if you don't do it right.
314	EDIT		Kristin	You know me... if it's contractable, I'm gonna contract it!
313	EDIT		Kristin	The majority of bulls are not milk cows. (Only a majority??)
304	EDIT		Kristin	I don't understand how she can make such a good yellow, and mess up the color of Poo(h)
303	EDIT		Ron	Lately, his butt hasn't been as sensitive as it used to be. (The scary part is, he was referring to his dog...)
299	EDIT		Mike	Sorry, I didn't mean to manhandle your altoids...
298	EDIT		Mike	You gotta enjoy it, those creamy middles only come once in a while!
297	EDIT		Mike	I need to go take off these pants - they're cutting off the blood to my brain.
296	EDIT		Mike	What did tornadoes sound like before freight trains existed?
292	EDIT		Mike	Anytime you feel upset, you can just keep squeezing your sheep until the stress goes away.
279	EDIT		Mike	When I look at him and think that when he sweats his freckles are going to melt off and drip in my face, well, that's a problem. (How's that for advice on dating?)
278	EDIT		Mike	Will Codus Interruptus keep me from getting too many child processes?
277	EDIT		Mike	Houston, we have a Whaley...
276	EDIT		Mike	Man, what a shocking screw that was!
273	EDIT		Mike	Uh yo, I know you got wicked sweet boogahs.
272	EDIT		Mike	Salad is not food. Salad is what food eats. (Thanks for the tip, Ruchelle!)
258	EDIT		Mike	Well, the problem is that I'm not sure that I'd recognize crap the same way that you'd recognize crap.
257	EDIT		Mike	No, you don't wanna eat my whoopie pie!!
256	EDIT		Mike	Hey! Would you like to buy my Wookie?
255	EDIT		Mike	Guess what... your snippets are showing!!
254	EDIT		Jes	Never pet a burning dog. (in the tips from Warcraft II)
253	EDIT		Mike	Tell your friend going to boot camp to remember they can do a lot of things to him, but they can't eat him.
246	EDIT		Jes	fear of butt fat
245	EDIT		Mike	Florida is not a Banana Republic... (Peter Jennings on ABC Nightly News, 12/13/00)
242	EDIT		Mike	I think sailboats are made out of ducks, since they always hang out around water and they go south for the winter.
241	EDIT		Mike	I get it without bad words and no breasts!!
240	EDIT		Jes	Add a layer of wilted onions. (hmm...nope, i don't think i want to eat that...)
239	EDIT		Jes	My dog eats flies... (Thanks, Ethan...)
238	EDIT		Jes	Well, why did you stuff your Norn down my pants??
237	EDIT		Mike	I got a good deal, although the mean car managers tried to screw me, being a young blonde girl.
236	EDIT		Jes	Fluttering just doesn't cut it.
235	EDIT		Mike	I bit my daddy!!
234	EDIT		Jes	It is as if the great-snow tiger of suckiness has raped my sister. (found on The Spark (www.thespark.com))
233	EDIT		Jes	You have to dare to suck in order to be good. (as said by Ricky Martin, which actually explains a lot...)
232	EDIT		Jes	When I laugh, it doesn't work anymore!
231	EDIT		Ron	Don't blame me. I didn't buy the sheep.
230	EDIT		Jes	You need to talk about your dog using adult language! (something that came out of my writing professor's mouth..)
229	EDIT		Mike	I'd just feel a lot better if you didn't vote. It's for the good of the country. (Fine then, I'll vote for Snoopy.)
224	EDIT		Mike	WHY? Because I am the one and only Bitchmaster!!! All bitching must have my permission! (I'm not sure if this new title is helping or hurting my status here...)
223	EDIT		Mike	If it's good - spread it!
218	EDIT		Jes	There's only one way to find out about ostrich twat, Mike.
217	EDIT		Mike	Manatees just remind me of fat ladies' legs.
216	EDIT		Mike	Coat and tie events should be outlawed!!
215	EDIT		Mike	Your request has been denied by Balthor the Evil SMTP god. (Sent by my Postmaster...)
208	EDIT		Mike	You know, you've got the floppiest elephants I've ever seen.
207	EDIT		Jes	Play with Big Dog. He loves you.
200	EDIT		Jes	What they do is squirt juice on the box, and it dissolves and that's how they get out. (found in an email from Mike..)
198	EDIT		Mike	I suck? No, YOU suck!! Well, I sucked last time!
197	EDIT		Mike	You know something about HTML, right? (Said to Mike as he sat in front of a computer with Cold Fusion, Fireworks and three windows of source code open )
193	EDIT		Jes	'Mike will let me do it!'. 'Well, Mike's a whore!!'
192	EDIT		Jes	Sometimes small s**t is cool. I'm not sure what exactly, but something.
191	EDIT		Mike	I pass server variables faster than kidney stones!
188	EDIT		Mike	We're not a plague - we're an affliction!
178	EDIT		Jes	If there were really really dumb things shaped like people, I don't think I would feel bad about eating them (As said by jes, in a discussion about eating animals..)
160	EDIT		Mike	Friends don't do friends... sorry!! (Overheard from the gals at work)
159	EDIT		Mike	Psychiatrists should deliver babies, because they're fragile and don't deal well with the outside world. (Said by an asleep friend who did not even remember saying it!)
157	EDIT		Mike	It's just like the Cold War, as long as everyone has the ability to squirt, nobody actually will!
156	EDIT		Mike	The Official Saviours of All Things F***ed Up and Broken Down (PC Techs unite!!)
146	EDIT		Jes	this lab has a funny smell...it smells like goats to me. (As said to Jes about the computer lab at work)
145	EDIT		Jes	I love you. Stop licking me.
144	EDIT		Jes	You can have sex, but you can't have a nose picking...
143	EDIT		Jes	Tug boat with lips (Found on website, describing thingy in the soap they sell.)
141	EDIT		Jes	...yeah, it's bad...especially now that we control the world... (As said to me by another Harris Employee)
135	EDIT		Jes	You know what we say here in America? F**k it!
134	EDIT		Jes	...I'll just go to the bathroom before it and put a rubber chicken up my dress
131	EDIT		Mike	I am in the Army so its hard to be able to do anything, I am currently discharging. (Sounds like a personal problem to me!)
130	EDIT		Jes	I have no vested interest in your testicles. (as told to one Mike Whaley.)
129	EDIT		Ron	If you ate nothing but possum your whole life, and then had some chicken, you would say, 'Hmm, tastes like possum.'
128	EDIT		Mike	Cool... I did twin Commanches and Navajos when I started!
127	EDIT		Mike	I think I can squeeze that one-twenty in between the cheeks. (You model airplane types will get this. The rest of you will simply think this guy was having some rather disturbing sexual problems!)
126	EDIT		Mike	I met somebody with a tongue like yours... all weird and pointy.
118	EDIT		Jes	My hovercraft is full of eels... again.
Fortune Cookies
ID		CATEGORY	FROM	FORTUNE
422	EDIT	Social	Ron	Think before sharing with others.
421	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
420	EDIT	Predictions	Ron	You will conquer obstacles to achieve success.
419	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You may be conservative, cautious and practical.
418	EDIT	Romance	Ron	When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.
417	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	You never know who you touch.
416	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You always know the right times to be assertive or to simply wait.
415	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
414	EDIT	Predictions	Ron	Your winsome smile will be your sure protection.
413	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Ron	You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
412	EDIT	Social	Ron	This is a good time to consider formally helping others.
410	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress.
409	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
408	EDIT	Money	Ron	A financial investment will yield returns beyond your hopes.
407	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You are generous to an extreme and always think of the other fellow.
406	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Keep up the good work. You will be rewarded.
405	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You have an active mind and a keen imagination.
404	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Things are not always what they seem.
403	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Ron	Share your insights with close friends.
402	EDIT	Money	Ron	A good reputation is more valuable than money.
401	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You need to reserve more time for yourself.
400	EDIT	Social	Ron	It takes courage to admit fault.
399	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	You are unusually perceptive about those around you.
398	EDIT	Predictions	Ron	Your realistic outlook will serve you well.
397	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	The truth will surface on its own.
396	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Don't let history control you.
394	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	A new project will enliven your conversation.
393	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Suppose you can get what you want...
392	EDIT	Work	Mike	You are soon going to change your present line of work.
391	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	You will receive a surprising gift very soon.
390	EDIT	Travel	Mike	Take a vacation, you will have unexpected gains.
389	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	You will be awarded some great honor.
388	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	Your determination will bring you much success.
387	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Others admire your sensitivity.
386	EDIT	Romance	Mike	There's a good chance of a romantic encounter soon.
385	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	Good things are coming to you in due course of time.
384	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Happy life is just in front of you.
383	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	It tastes sweet.
382	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	A diversity of friends is a credit to your flexible nature.
381	EDIT	Social	Mike	If a true sense of value is to be yours it must come through service.
380	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	When you gather all your resources together, Goals are accomplished.
379	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	It is better to deal with problems before they arise.
378	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	The weather is wonderful.
377	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You will be of good comfort.
376	EDIT	Social	Mike	There is no greater wisdom than kindness.
375	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	This is really a lovely day. Congratulations!
374	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	You are the center of every group's attention.
373	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	You have a strong desire for a home and your family comes first.
372	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You have tasted the bitterness as well as the sweetness of coffee.
371	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You are a person of strong sense of duty.
370	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Keep true to the dreams of your youth.
369	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted.
368	EDIT	Social	Mike	Your example will inspire others.
367	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.
366	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
365	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	You will make change for the better.
364	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for.
363	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You are full of hopes about your future.
362	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you.
361	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Adversity is the test for strong men.
360	EDIT	Travel	Mike	A new environment makes all the difference in the world.
359	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	The secret to staying young is good health, and lying about your age.
358	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You love challenge.
357	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	You will be successful in anything relating to sports.
356	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	A wise man turns chance into good fortune.
355	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
354	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	The sun is new each day.
353	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	A happy and harmonious family is important to you.
352	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Reflect on yourself before anyone can look down on you.
351	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Excitement and intrigue follow you closely wherever you go!
350	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	Your family is one of nature's masterpieces.
349	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Now is the time to try something new.
348	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and soul devout.
347	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Never take yes for you answer.
346	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
345	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	The path of life shall lead upwards for you.
344	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	Very often you cannot help thinking of somebody.
343	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
342	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	Doors will be opening for you in many areas of your life.
341	EDIT	Travel	Mike	Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation.
340	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	You achieve great peace of mind when you talk with an old friend.
339	EDIT	Romance	Mike	Romance moves you in a new direction.
338	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Your success will astonish everyone.
337	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Failure is the mother of success.
336	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Concentrate in what you want and you will win.
335	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You are the center of every group's attention.
334	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	People are attracted by your delicate features.
333	EDIT	Work	Mike	It is quality rather than quantity that matters. Do a good job.
332	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Smile when you are ready.
331	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	It is easier to resist in the beginning than in the end.
330	EDIT	Money	Mike	You should be able to make money and hold on to it.
329	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	An exciting opportunity lies ahead if you are not timid.
328	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Anyone can memorize things, but the important thing is to understand it.
327	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.
326	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You stand in your own light. Make it shine.
325	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	Many pleasurable and memorable adventures are in store for you!
324	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Miracles happen every day.
323	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	You future is sweet.
322	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Speaking well of others does you credit.
321	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure.
320	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You will have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life.
319	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
318	EDIT	Money	Ron	It's nice to be remembered, but it's far cheaper to be forgotten.
316	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Your principles mean more to you than any money or success.
312	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Your destiny lies before you, choose wisely.
311	EDIT	AboutYou	Ron	Everyone agrees you are the best.
310	EDIT	Social	Mike	For a good cause, wrongdoing may be virtuous.
309	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	Pleasure awaits your company.
308	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	The smart thing is to prepare for the unexpected.
307	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Promise only what you can deliver.
306	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	No one is happy who does not think himself so.
305	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	People are naturally attracted to you.
302	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	The skills you have gathered will one day come in handy.
301	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Someone can read your mind.
300	EDIT	Travel	Mike	If you can't decide up or down try moving across.
295	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	What makes an apple fall to the ground?
294	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Ron	Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion.
293	EDIT	Predictions	Ron	You emerge victorious from the maze you've been traveling in.
291	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation.
290	EDIT	Work	Mike	You will be singled out for promotion.
289	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
288	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	When winter comes heaven will rain success on you.
287	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Every friend joys in your success.
286	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	You are going to have some new clothes.
285	EDIT	Predictions	Mike	The current year will bring you much happiness.
284	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	You have a lively family.
283	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	The secret to good friends is no secret to you.
282	EDIT	Romance	Mike	Passionate new romance appears in your life when you least expect it.
281	EDIT	Predictions	Ron	All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
280	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
275	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook in life.
274	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
271	EDIT	Romance	Ron	Great thoughts come from the heart.
270	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	Your charming smile is attracting everyone around you.
269	EDIT	Travel	Mike	Adventure can be a real happiness.
268	EDIT	FriendsFamily	Mike	Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you.
267	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You have the ability to analyse and solve any problem.
266	EDIT	RandomAdvice	Mike	Example is better than precept.
265	EDIT	Health	Mike	Wish you a long life.
264	EDIT	AboutYou	Mike	You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.
263	EDIT	Work	Mike	All your hard work will soon be paid off.
262	EDIT	AboutYou